It's a sick idea of mine
by AsikIkisa
Summary: Izaya always thought that Shiki adopted him because he loved him very much. Now when he found out about his "father's" past, he doesn't want to accept it, but is also in fear that he'll be the same as Shizuo and Roppi. Shiki/ShotaIzaya. Smut will be l8r!
1. Chapter 1  Izaya's case 1

**Note; Durarara isn't mine. This contains mentions of childs abuse. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Otherwise enjoy!**

It was stronger than him. He couldn't resist. From the first time he saw the little boy in the children's home care, he wanted him. At first not sexually, hell Shiki was opposing to the children abuse.

He did everything to have the ability to adopt him. He gave up the idea of creating a post-yakuza group, to have his law card clear. He married a woman who only cared about his cash, but when they visited the home care, they pretended to be a happy married couple.

Everything for Izaya, the little boy who catched Shiki's eye.

When they adopted him, the woman left him, just as they planned. He had another fiancee anyway.

Izaya wasn't surprised. To him, it was odd that this guy, with a mysterious aura around him even managed to have a woman. Izaya was very bright and clever, despite his young age.

He overheard the true reason to why Shiki adopted him, one night, when he couldn't sleep due to Shiki's and Akabayashi's loud argument. The red haired man came there to convince Shiki to get his old dream real. Creating a post-yakuza group to protect people. But Shiki denied wanting that.

"Akabayashi! Stop it. I don't want it. The only thing I care about is Izaya. Who knows if they won't take him back if I'll establish the yakuza group?" Shiki said, his voice clearly angry and upset.

"Izaya, Izaya Izaya... man I'm tired of hearing that argument anymore. Since 6 years it was nothing else but that little boy. You are obsessed about him. You even got married and divorced in order to adopt him. I wonder if there is something other that you want from him, besides that he'll live with you." Akabayashi said, his voice and face expression pretty annoyed. It wasn't the first time Shiki got an eye for a little boy. And Akabayashi knew that the past affairs didn't end well, not for the boy or the man in white suit.

"Akabayashi... how can you? You know I'd never... no. No. Izaya is different. Too innocent for that." Shiki said, his voice now filled with anguish.

"But you don't deny it, that you'll do it when he gets older right? It might not end like with Shizuo or Hachimenroppi, but it isn't a good idea, Shiki. Let go of him." Akabayashi said, his voice firm and serious. He then proceeded to the exit, intending to leave the white suited man alone.

Shiki then decided to go to sleep, this time not looking into Izaya's room and kiss him goodnight like he always used to. His mind drowned in guilt, and his dreams were nightmares, the figures of his past lovers haunting him.

Izaya heard the conversation between the older men and now, thinking about it, he couldn't sleep.

He thought of searching for the names that were given it the conversation on the internet, and deciding that he won't go to sleep before he gets to know something about them, he turned on his computer.

After one hour of searching, he got plenty of results. Not only by google, but also by his thin information network. Even at the age of ten he was able to make a stable information network with reliable sources.

The first link was an article of a dead boy found in a container, in a village not far away from Tokyo. He was naked, and probably raped repediatly. On the photo that was censored by the half of it due to explicit content, Izaya noticed marks of rope on the boys hands.

The date of the article was even before Izaya was born. The author of that text, thought that the abductor wasn't found. By now, the investigation was stopped due to the over aging of the cause.

The other links connected to Shizuo Heiwajima, for that was the name of the boy, was other links to the same article or forum discussions regarding his case. Izaya scrolled the sites, but found nothing special. People thought that it was a gang who had given himself on the boy.

The next boy, Hachimenroppi, hadn't so much results as the previous one. Izayas own sources had a link with a video of him, with the date one year before Izaya got adopted. The raven haired ten year old boy hesitated a bit before he opened the site with the video.

The camera showed a dark space, with some moans heard, and muffed screams of protest. The boy on that video was obviously being raped. Izaya wondered who had the nerve to record it. He rewind ed the video forward, with the dark space being the only picture seen. At the end, he heard another voice, synchronized by the computer, the boy unconscious.

"You will never told anyone what happened here, Roppi. Nobody shall know about this besides you and me, understand?" The boy then got kicked, and the film stopped.

The comments to that recording were with the kind of 'poor boy' 'how can people do this' and such. But there was one, left by an anonymous person, who said that he knew the abductor in person. He had a liking in small boys, often orphans, and at first he may seem nice and friendly only to leave his victims dead in a corner. That anon also claimed to think that it was the same person with the Heiwajima case.

Izaya then searched for more objective facts in Hachimenroppis case, and found his death certificate. The reason of dying was blank, but the description of the body was nearly as explicit as the photo of that Shizuo. The items found were razor blade, a pile of cards and a black jacket with red fur rims.

Then Izaya was worried. Seriously worried. And scared. For the present from Shiki at his tenth birthday was way too big, black jacket with white fur at it's edges.

(A/N; Dadadadaaam! Lol xD So this story is based on a picture that just can't get out of my head, so I wrote the first chapter at least xD It may be something that some of you find bad, and if it's so, then sorry. I hope that you enjoyed reading anyway. This fic won't be long. Feedback is love :D)

The Picture: .net/204773


	2. Chapter 2 Izaya's case 2

**Note: Durarara isn't mine. This story contains mentions of child abuse. If you don't like such things, then not read it. Otherwise enjoy!**

**This story is based on this picture; ** .net/204773 ** I don't own it either xD**

But when he thought about it later, it seemed impossible. The date of that video and the death certificate, was 6th May one year before Izaya was adopted. And Izaya met Shiki for the first time in march, of that year when Roppi died. So, having a boy that looked very similar to him, why would Shiki want to adopt Izaya?

'Maybe he planned that all along. He probably prefers younger boys and that boy who was kicked looked like he was at least fiveteen years old. That blond, Shizuo too.' Izaya tried to forget these scary thoughts but they refused to leave him alone.

Then, he remembered Shiki's words that he told that evening to Akabayashi. "_You know I'd never... no. No. Izaya is different. Too innocent for that_".And they calmed him. Shiki would do no charm to him. Besides if he had such bad plans for him... he would start it sooner right?

He almost fell asleep, but then Akabayashi's word echoed in his mind."_But you don't deny it, that you'll do it when he gets older right?_"

Izaya woke up and stood up in his bed wide awake. Shiki waited for him to get older after all! And he surely adopted him at such young age to build a bond of trust and reliance between them. So when that actually happens, Izaya might think that Shiki does it, because he loves him... when in reality he just uses him like a toy he grew bored of.

At that thought, hot tears gathered in his eyes. He didn't know why he cried. He never did it before. Not when his mother abandoned him in the childcare's home, not when he got beaten there for not doing something properly... not even when the at first happy family that adopted him, fell apart. Yet a thought of being used and unloved made tears fall from his eyes.

He sobbed quietly for something like one hour, and then fell asleep from exhaustion, tied up lambs and dead ravens haunting his dreams.

When Shiki woke up, he felt that something was wrong. Maybe it was the unusually quiet home, or the fact that guilt was overwhelming him. That made his chest ache in pain. And it was not a good feeling. He tried to shrug it off with a shower.

Izaya woke up, still pretty tired despite sleeping for so long. The sound of water running in the drainpipe very clear. Then, he noticed that he shivered. And it was cold. Too cold as for a hot summer day, assuming that the sun which shone trough the windows was giving some warmth.

Then the flow of water in the pipes stopped, and the thought of seeing Shiki, scared Izaya. He didn't know why, but the usually nice kisses in the forehead, now seemed dangerous. He pulled his blanket on his face, curling into a human ball.

Shiki, who ended his shower, wanted to go and wake Izaya up. Despite the fact that it was saturday, the boy shouldn't sleep for so long. But he looked at his reflection in the mirror, and saw an old miserable man in a towel around his legs. No. At first he had to wear some colthes.

After taking on his usual white suit, and throwing some perfumes on him, he considered himself ready. He didn't knew why so suddenly such little details, was so important.

And then he remembered the conversation with Akabayashi the previous night. Knowing Izaya, he should have heard the most of it. The walls were pretty thin in this house, and even closed doors weren't able to stop the sounds, especially when two a bit drunk men were screaming at each other.

With the feeling of guilt, he decided to not wake Izaya up as usual. Shiki was aware of the little boys curiousness of the world, and his sources of information. If Izaya really did overhear his and Akabayashi's conversation, then he probably looked up the mentioned names. And Shiki knew that his bond with the boy will be totally different than it was until today.

So he knocked on the door to Izaya's room, rather forcefully, and said:

"Hello, Izaya. It's elven o clock right now. Better not waste the day. Go and wash yourself, and I'll prepare some brunch, okay?"

He didn't hear a response though. He was very tempted to go into the room and see if Izaya was allright, but he couldn't look that boy in the eyes right now. Not after Izaya found out about his past and what he indirectly did to those boys that now are dead.

(A/N: Dadadadaaaaaaam! Okay, here is chapter two. I changed my mind. This story won't end just yet. I got a plot bunny right now. And I think it will get pretty angsty from now on... I hope it's okay? XD I hope that you enjoy reading it and please review ir you do. Feedback is loved :D)


	3. Chapter 3 Shizuo's case 1

**Note: Durarara isn't mine! Now enjoy!**

"Izaya... you can't lie in your bed for the whole day. The food will be in one hour. Be prepared until then." Shiki said, and left Izaya's door going down to the kitchen.

Izaya didn't dare to move until he heard the sound of plates and the electric can cooking the water.

He knew that something was off, but he thanked Shiki that the man didn't come in to his room and woke him up, like always by the kiss of the forehead.

He went to the bathroom, and locked the door from the inside, just in case.

When Shiki heard the sound of water flow trough the pipes, he felt relieved. But the feeling of guilt was still overwhelming him. Why? Why did Akabayashi bring up his past, after so many years?

The guilt was present for two years after he ended with Shizuo, but when he spotted Hachimenroppi the feeling lessened. He didn't consider those boys as the same, much less like objects to use and abandon.

It was stronger than him. An order from the above.

But Izaya didn't belong there, and Shiki had not intended to have a sexual relationship with the boy. He just wanted to raise a child, and his intentions was sincere. Shiki himself had experienced a bit of the childcare's home, and no pleasant memories were connected to that time. In fact, people there mobbed him and abused, he had to do the worst work while cleaning, and such.

Luckily he was adopted when he was seven. His family wasn't the best, they argued pretty much, but treasured him nonetheless. When his mother died in a car accident, he got depressed. Very much, in fact he was that woman's jewel in the crown.

And he met Akabayashi, and his gang.

If Shiki could avoid meeting Akabayashi, he would give anything to do that. It was the red head who introduced him to Shizuo Heiwajima. In fact, the blonde boy was part of his gang.

To say that Shiki had fallen in love with the blonde would be a lie. In fact he didn't care about Shizuo so much at the beginning. But apparently so wasn't the case to the blonde. Shizuo would do anything to catch his attention.

That included going into fights with other gangs. Akabayashi's gang had many enemies, and the blonde boy was the first to beat them. He was strong indeed, but fifteen people would be too much for him. So Shiki agreed to go with him that night.

Shizuo got in fact beaten very badly then. Broken right arm, uncountable bruises on his whole body and scars on his face with blood dipping from his mouth. Thanks to Shiki, the other gang went theirs way when he took out his gun.

The raven haired older man wanted to call for ambulance then, but Shizuo told him to call Akabayashi instead. It turned out that the group had a private doctor that was to theirs disposition every time of the night and day.

While they waited for Akabayashi to come with the car, Shizuo tried to keep alive some kind of conversation. Shiki wasn't talkative so much, but since he didn't have anything other to do, he could as well talk with the blonde.

Then a question was asked that catched Shiki off guard.

(A/N: Hahahahahahah (maniacal laugh) this chapter ends here xD And now we begin with Shiki's past! I decided to include the smut, but it will be at the end of the story, so you'll have to wait a bit for that. Well, I hope you enjoyed reading this, and remember that Feedback is loved ;D )


	4. Chapter 4 Shizuo's case 2

**Note: Durarara isn't mine. Now enjoy!**

"Why are you ignoring me?" the blonde asked his voice weak and quiet.

Shiki didn't know what to say. He? Was ignoring Shizuo? It was very hard to do, for the blonde had a noticeable personality after all.

"Well, it's tough to ignore you, I have to admit. You are the strongest in our gang and always beating the others. Your anger is unpredictable..." Shiki said, and he turned his gaze away from the blonde. Couldn't Akabayashi hurry?

"No. I don't mean it like that. You are blind to my feelings towards you." Shizuo said holding Shikis hand. To that, the dark haired man turned his gaze back to the mocha eyed blonds face.

"Ah, so Heiwajima has feelings towards me? Sorry, I didn't notice. May I ask what kind of feelings? I guess it's..." Shiki wanted to say dislike or hatred, but the mocha eyed blonde interrupted him.

"I love you, Shiki-san." Shizuo said and the white suited man was stunned.

Akabayashi said that it wasn't allowed to have any closer relationship with the gang members. This way, fights and a lot of drama would be avoided.

"You... can't. It's forbidden. And... why me? Of all the people, all the girls you could have had... why me?" Shiki's voice as well as his facial expression was in deep astonishment. It was too dangerous for them to be together.

"Because... you are the most wonderful person I've ever met." Shizuo said, and then coughed roughly.

Right then, before Shiki had the time to reply, Akabayashi's car arrived and his men took Shizuo to the vehicle. Shiki stayed where he had been, still astonied by the blonds sudden confession.

"Oi, Shiki... aren't you coming with us?" the red haired man, who didn't even get out of the car asked, curious.

"Nah. I'm pretty tired. I guess I'll go home and sleep." Shiki said as he waved his hand for a goodbye.

"Okay. But come to our headquarter tomorrow after twelve. Bye." The red haired man closed the car window, and the car departed.

Shiki went home, and rushed directly into his room. From the room of his parents, moans were heard. His father losed no time to find another woman, after his wife was dead. It was a method to forget his sorrow and let out his stress.

Shiki lied in his bed, but he couldn't sleep. The most part of the night, Shizuo filled his thoughts. Shiki knew that Akabayashi would kill him. Or exclude him, Shizuo or both of them from the gang.

Considering that Shizuo was strong and good in combat, Shiki would be the one to end with them.

At the morning, he finally fell asleep, considering also that the blonde doesn't know him at all. So how come that he knows what kind of person Shiki is? The dark haired man decided to go and visit the blonde as soon as he wakes up the next day.

(A/N: Yay, more flashbacks. They will last, for one chapter or two, and then I'll continue with Izaya xD I'm glad that people are liking this. Feedback is love!)


	5. Chapter 5 Shizuo's case 3

**Note: Durarara isn't mine! Now enjoy!**

_At that day, Shiki was awoken by his home phone. He surely forgot to set his alarm clock, but at the same time, he couldn't allow his father or his stepmother to pick up the phone. They will surely ground him and he couldn't afford that._

_So he rushed to pick up the phone, and looked at the clock, which hung above the phone. It was an quarter to eleven. Hell why did he sleep until so soon?_

"_Hello? Is it Shiki?" the voice was weak, and timid but Shiki would hear a kind of confidence in it at the same time._

_He recognized that voice. It was undoubtedly Shizuo. Nobody else would call him at such hour, and Akabayashi would call him if he'd been late._

"_Well, yeah. What do you want? Are you okay, anyway?" Shiki whispered, just in case his father would be asleep. He would get scolded if he waked him up at a Saturday morning._

"_Yeah, I'm fine. Can you come here? I have to discuss something with you. And it's not a talk on a phone." the blonds voice was now normal, but also serious._

_Shiki was stunned. Just what would the blonde want to discuss with him? And why now? Couldn't he take that at the meeting?... then Shiki realized that Shizuo won't be at the meeting after twelve. He was probably resting in that doctors house, and the meeting would be at the headquarter._

"_Okay. Tell me the address, of where you are, and I'll come as soon as I can." Shiki said, as he took a paper and a pencil to note the address and the way, that the blonde described._

_Half an hour later, Shiki was at a fairly new apartment complex in west Ikebukuro. He hesitated to knock on the door. Was it really here? What if he was wrong? And most importantly why would Shizuo want to see him?_

_Before he thought about any answers to the above questions, the door opened, and a chocolate haired boy with huge black glasses and a lab coat stood in the entrance._

"_Ah welcome. My name is Shinra. Shizuo is waiting for you, follow me." the voice of the doctor ha d hidden glee. Shiki thought that he was a nice guy. _

_They entered one of the rooms in the back of the apartment. Shizuo lied in bed, his wounds bandaged and left arm in a plaster and the scars on his face was fading._

"_Hey. So are you really okay? I mean... it looks weird on you." Shiki said, a bit taken aback by the amount of bandages._

_Shizuo only waved his palm, like it was nothing important._

"_It may look weird but I actually feel better. You know... I told Akabayashi." Shizuo said, his sudden smile fading a bit._

_Shiki was stunned by this blonde again. Did he tell... about what exactly?_

_Shizuo saw the questioning look on Shiki's face and replied, his voice firm and strong, and Shiki didn't spot any regret in it._

"_Well, about us of course. That we are planning to be together. And he wasn't amused, hell he told that he'll exclude you from the gang, if I didn't mean it as a joke. But I don't regret anything, because I confirmed it to be true." Shizuo said, and looked at Shiki, the older mans face in complete astonishment._

"_Why? We... we aren't together, anyway. And... you don't know me. I guess my father won't approve of this. And... why?" Shiki asked, very confused. Why did he let the blonde take care of his future like that?_

"_Yeah, we aren't together... yet. But I'm sure we'll be together. Even before you leave this house... after... this" Shizuo said, and he surprised Shiki with a kiss on his lips._

_Shiki would never ever admit that it was his first kiss. That would be showing his weakness to others and he did very much, to hide it. Until now._

_They stopped to take a breath. Shizuo looked into Shiki's Grey eyes. They reminded him of the sky on a rainy day. Shizuo thought that it was the most beautiful color he had seen in his life._

"_Well, Shiki... I hope I didn't dissapoint you... you see... it was my first kiss." Shizuo admitted and a light blush entered his face._

_Shiki looked back into these mocha eyes, and he blushed even deeper as he shake his head indicating that he liked the kiss. And maybe the blonde too. _

(A/N: Okayy. Here is chapter 5. I thought that the flashbacks will be cursived so you can see the difference in case I decide to write a chapter with both flashbacks and the present time. I should keep it at an update one chap per day, but I couldn't resist to update this. As I see it now, it turned out to be pretty long, but hey. I know where I'm going with this. So here you have a bit of... fluffy ending for this chap. I know that you enjoy reading so let me say that Feedback on this is greatly loved :D)


	6. Chapter 6 Shizuo's case 4

**Note: Durarara isn't mine! Now enjoy!**

_An hour later, Shiki was at the headquarter of Akabayashi's gang. They talked about what to do now, because Heiwajima is injured, and after half an hour of discussion decided to not get involved in any fights._

_After the meeting, Akabayashi asked the dark haired man to stay for a bit._

"_I heard that you and Heiwajima are together. You know what that means. I can't afford to lose so strong member, so... you are out. Don't bother to come here again." Akabayashi said, his voice annoyed and dissapointed. He never expected that such unattractive man as Shiki would fall for someone._

"_I see that you didn't even bother to ask if it's true. Well then, I won't bother you anymore, /i leader.i" Shiki said as he was heading for the exit. He didn't regret leaving this gang. In fact, he was grateful to not get involved in any underground business anymore._

"_So... did Shizuo lie? Or is he delirious? I want to hear the truth from you, Shiki. You are my most loyal man here. How come that you even got together? Just yesterday I sensed your dislike towards him." Akabayashi said, a bit upset when he saw Shiki leave... just like that._

"_Shizuo is perfectly fine. And I never disliked him. My feelings were indiffrent, but when I saw him almost die yesterday... I couldn't afford it. And I'm not the only one loyal man here, Akabayashi. Now, if you excuse me." Shiki said, looking around the room before he left it and closed the doors behind him._

_Akabayashi turned around in his swivel chair. Then, he spotted a man behind the curtain. The man, noticing that his leader saw him, got out of his hideout._

"_Shiki-san was right, danna. I'm very loyal towards you too." The man said, coming completely out. He had hair in the color of stawberry jam, dark clothes and stylish glasses. His hair was a bit messy, but so wasn't his personality._

_Akabayashi, laughed, satisfied. "You really are good at hiding yourself, Hiroki. I knew you had good skills, but you totally impressed me. Now, what do you think I should do, so that Shiki would regret being kicked out? And how far would you go to take his place as my right hand?" Akabayashi said, and his voice darkened a bit._

"_Besides making his life miserable, I think we should get Heiwajima a lesson. It's because of the blonde that it had come to this. But let him first feel needed here... and then we'll see. Akabayashi-san, I would go as far as killing somebody to be your right hand. And it'll be my pleasure." the man named Hiroki said, his voice pretty indifferent but a hint of deepness was heard there._

_Akabayashi nodded, satisfied. In a half year, Shiki will beg him to be in his gang again. And he was thrilled to even think of that._

(A/N: This chapter ends here. The next will be the end of flashbacks concerning Shizuo. I hope you enjoyed reading this. Next chapter will be up in shortly xD And feedback is always loved! :D)


	7. Chapter 7 Shizuo's case 5

**Note: Durarara isn't mine! Now enjoy!**

_The next half year after their first kiss was the best time in Shiki's life. He and Heiwajima Shizuo was in a relationship that was very secure... and besides the safety in the blonds presence Shiki felt very appreciated. Like never before. _

_It went three weeks and the blonde healed completely. That meant that Shiki couldn't be with him so often as he used to (they practically slept in the same room) but unable to return to his father who didn't care so much about him, Shiki earned a bit of money and after two weeks, he was able to live with the blonde._

_Shizuo was very active in the gang, and he often came home late at nights, several light injuries on his body._

_Shiki did all he could to ease his pain, and even though the blonde claimed to not feel any pain, he couldn't resist the soft kisses and sex that followed._

_Months passed, and Shiki was happy. Shizuo, besides beating off the enemies of Akabayashi's gang had a part time work in a car wash. _

_After four months of living like that, the tensions in the gang raised. Some of the members were against Akabayashi and Hiroki that made a complete autocracy with their plans of taking over every small gang that was in Tokyo. _

_This resulted in Shizuo coming home even later and even more injured. One day, blood was dipping from his wound on the stomach and Shiki called Shinra. The doctor told the blonde to not get involved in this many fights. But Shizuo ignored the statement, and said that otherwise he'll be kicked out of the gang. And it may end up in something worse than just being kicked out._

_One month passed, and one night Shizuo came home, almost unconscious. He didn't respond to Shikis words, so the dark haired man didn't wait to call the doctor again. Shinra arrived pretty fast, and said that it wasn't anything serious. The blonde was just dehydrated and tired._

_When Shiki managed to wake him up, and saw him respond, he hugged him tightly. But then Shizuo said something that catched him off guard._

"_They are planning something. And it's something serious. Akabayashi told me to come tomorrow, or otherwise..." Shizuo stopped unable to say the rest._

"_Shizuo-kun. I'm begging you to stay home tomorrow. It pains me to see you come home and you are always injured. And... why won't you just leave them? They are using you, simply taking every bit of you. Can't you see it?" Shiki said, very upset. Why couldn't he love some normal human that wasn't involved into that shady business?_

"_or otherwise they will do something to you. It didn't sound like it was something good." Shizuo said, his voice pretty sad, but some glint of a power was there too._

"_Like hell I care. Shizuo, you are my most important person in the world. I won't be scared of some wannabe leader of a gang in Tokyo. What if... if they do something to you?" Shiki said, his voice breaking at the end. He didn't even want to think about it. Every night, he feared when he was alone. But seeing Shizuo at the corner always relieved him. If Akabayashi would take Shizuo from him... he wouldn't do anything about it. He hadn't any supernatural strength or great influence to blackmail the red head._

"_I'm not that weak. You should know that by now. Let's go to sleep, okay? I have work early in the morning tomorrow." Shizuo said, his voice tired._

_Shiki listened to him, and both fell asleep in each others arms, not forgetting about some kisses and love confessions before going to sleep._

_When Shiki woke up, he felt cold. And a unpleasant feeling was in the back of his mind. This wouldn't be a good day, starting like this._

_But he got up to work and before he got out, he noticed a note on the fridge. It was from the blonde._

_uI'll come home late today. Don't wait for me, I'll be sure to be by your side when you wake up tomorrow. I'll always love you. Shizuo./u_

_The bad feeling that was lingering at Shikis mind increased. This wasn't good. Not good at all. It wasn't the first time that Shizuo didn't come home for a night, but after yesterdays conversation with him, Shiki knew that something was definitely amiss._

_He went to work anyway and acted fairly normal. When he came home, he refused to not wait at the blonde. He tried to do something constructive, and cleaned the apartment, but his mind was elsewhere._

_Shiki sat at the kitchen table where he could see the place that Shizuo would eventually come from. He read the note one more time. And again. After reading it ten times, he couldn't brush off a feeling that this text was written pretty fast, and it had something of a farewell note. Even if the blonde assured him to be home tomorrow morning, it had a glint of uncertainess._

_Shiki finally fell asleep with unpleasant thoughts at four in the morning. His head on the dinning table. But he didn't mind the uncomfortable position._

_He woke up at eleven before noon. And he knew that he was alone in his home. Shizuo didn't come back. He looked trough the window, but the street was empty._

_He waited for two more hours, glaring at the note that the mocha eyed blonde left him. It was lies. He wasn't there when Shiki woke up. And the dark haired man knew that he won't see the blonde ever again._

_Two weeks passed, and Shiki didn't leave his home. He retried from his work and closed himself in, trying to understand why the blonde wasn't home. And he tried to convince himself to stop waiting for Shizuo. But he kept to look trough the window anyway in hope of seeing the blonde._

_One day, he was woken up by the doorbell. He didn't want to see anybody, but the doorbell rang anyway._

_He motioned to the door and opened it, seeing Shinra trough the peephole._

"_I think that you should sit, before you see this." the underground doctor was holding a newspaper in his hand. It had todays date on it._

_Shiki invited the chocolate haired man to his kitchen. Shinra tossed the newspaper on the table. Shiki did as told and sat before he took the paper in his hand._

_He looked at the first site carefully. The photo was half-blurred due to 'explicit content' as the text beside it said._

_But Shiki recognized that hand. That particular bruise was done by one of the opponent gangs knife, the night Shizuo confessed to him._

_Shiki read the article, and his eyes widened. He didn't believe that._

"_Shizuo-kun... found in a container?... who? When? Why him?" his voice broke down, and tears that he tried to hold back, finally fell down._

(A/N: And that makes the end of the flashbacks for Shizuo. I hope you enjoyed reading this, and my English wasn't that bad. The next chapter will involve shota!Izaya. And I haven't decided what to do with him yet xD xD xD Feedback is loved :D)


	8. Chapter 8 Izaya's case 3

**Durarara isn't mine. Now enjoy!**

Shiki lye the table with breakfast. It was sandwiches, and green tea. Nothing from the ordinary.

Izaya stepped down, fully clothed and his hair wet from the shower. He was quiet. The boy didn't even greet his caretaker.

Shiki was silent too. They ate in silence, the sounds of flatware hitting the plates. Sometimes, Izaya would tell him what kind of dream he had, or what was his plans for the day. But the red eyed boy was eating unusually quiet.

When Shiki finished his sandwich and took a sip from the tea, he got enough. Izaya won't be quiet for the whole day. He wondered if the topic of what the boy heard yesterday would be appropriate. And then decided that it would. He didn't want to hide anything from that boy who will find out anyway, one way or another.

"You must be disappointed in me." Shiki said, his voice indifferent. He knew that Izaya hated when he was talking with him using such tone.

Izaya's eyes narrowed, but his look was a questioning one. What did Shiki meant by that?

"Don't fool me. I know that you know. About yesterday's late argument between me and Akabayashi. You are too smart to let it go, and you surely found out about Heiwajima and Hachimenroppi. I don't blame you. Kids at your age are curious and you surely couldn't sleep before you could know something more. Am I right?" Shiki said, his voice changing from indifferent to deep and curious, and his eyes wandered around Izaya's face.

He observed the boys expression change from a questioning light depressed one to a firm one with a mischievous smirk on his face. Despite that his eyes seemed to ask 'How the hell do you know all that?'.

"Or am I wrong and you actually slept in your bed like a good boy... that I know you aren't. The question is... did you believe what you have seen? And if yes then what was so convincing for you to believe what you read or watched at the internet?" Shiki asked, turning his gaze to the wall below Izaya and his voice pretty firm.

Izaya lowered his gaze to the now empty plate. He was ashamed. How could Shiki read him like an open book? He tried to hide his emotions, to improve his masks to hide his true feelings behind... and yet that man knew everything. How?

"How do you know all that? Why? Aren't you behind their death? And... do you plan to... do the same thing to me?" Izaya's boyish voice was broken when he asked the last question. But he had to know. If... if Shiki was planning to use him... then it wasn't too late to run away from here. The problem was where would he go.

"Why do I know such things? You are clever, and curious. Unfortunately too naive. And no, I didn't kill them. Why should I kill people I loved? Nor do I plan to do the same thing to you. Akabayashi is just too desperate to have me in his gang again. Hiroki wasn't as loyal as he claimed himself to be. But I don't intend to join them. That would be too dangerous." Shiki said as he lighted his cigarette.

Izaya looked at him, his face expression in full doubt. He still couldn't believe his caretaker, but something told him that Shiki wasn't lying.

"If... if you loved them... then why did you let them get killed? Why didn't you withdraw from Akabayashi's gang?... why... I don't understand it." Izaya said, as tears gathered in his eyes. Why did he cry over people he never met? Was it because Hachimenroppi was so similar to him? He didn't know.

"Withdrawing from the gang had not changed anything. Shizuo was still active even after I retried. You see... he was the strongest human I have ever met. And it was forbidden to be in a relationship with a man from the gang. So I quit. But Shizuo was there... and... every night he came home he was injured. But one night... he didn't come back." Shiki said, his voice sad... and also filled with care and love when he reminisced his first lover. Izaya had never seen this side of his caretaker and he was very confused.

"And I was depressed. I kept waiting for him, despite knowing that he won't come back this time. Two weeks after that night, Shinra came, knocking on my door. He had a newspaper in his hand. On the first side... was the photo that I'm sure you have seen. After that day... I decided to never get into a relationship again." Shiki said, his voice sad, and with a hint of indifference.

Izaya held back his tears. He couldn't show anybody that he was crying. Even if it was the person that knew him the best.

"A-and Hachimenroppi? He... was like me, am I right? He was very similar to me and also was an orphan. Does it mean... that I'm his replacement?" Izaya said, his voice nearly crying. Shiki looked at him, confused. Where did that kid get an idea like that?

"No. Nobody is anyone's replacement here. I adopted Hachimenroppi because I loved his red eyes. And I was lonely. Guess my decision about not getting in any relationship didn't last for more than three years. He and Shizuo... were totally different." Shiki said, his voice distant.

Izaya couldn't believe it. The red eyes... are weird. His parents left him in the childcare's home because he had such filthy eyes. He was abandoned because of them... but also picked up. When he first met Shiki, one of the first words were "You have a beautiful red color in your eyes. Won't you like to get out of here?" and Izaya knew that he liked that man right away.

(A/N: Wow, chapter 8 here. That's pretty much I think. Next will be continuation of Shiki's flashbacks this time concerning Roppi xD I hope you enjoyed reading this and remember that Feedback is greatly loved :D)


	9. Chapter 9 Roppi's case 1

**Note: Durarara isn't mine! I don't know if Yukata street exist, now enjoy!**

Shiki was even more depressed after reading that article. He ignored anything and anyone from then on. His personality changed a bit, and he was mistrusting humans.

When the time of Shizuo's burial came, Shiki didn't want to go there, because he was sure that Akabayashi's gang would be there. And he was sure that they were behind Shizuo's death. But Shinra insisted, and told him that it would be weird if everyone but him went there.

So Shiki was there, silent throughout the ceremony. After the burial, he stayed at the graveyard, ignoring the cold weather and Akabayashi's offer to go with him, because the red haired man wanted to talk. Shiki didn't want anything to do with the red haired man.

So he stayed there, until it was late and he almost lost feeling in his hands. But the thought of coming to the empty house saddened him. He went as slowly as possible and when he reached the apartment he went straight to bed, not even caring to change his clothes.

Since then, he went to the graveyard every day, and sat by Shizuo's grave for hours. He didn't care what kind of weather it was, though when it rained he didn't sit there whole day.

One day when the rain clouds were at the sky, Shiki sat by the grave as usual, and saw that another burial is not far away. It seemed like a family was gathered, because Shiki didn't see the grave from where he sat, it was behind the people surrounding it.

When that ceremony ended, he saw a small boy with raven black hair and tearful eyes wanting to stay. An older woman took his hand and dragged him from there. The boy... cried. The woman was upset with him.

"Hachimen! You come with us. Or do you prefer me to leave you to the children care's home? It's not far away from here, and you mustn't come with us if you don't want it. You are a bother anyway." that woman's voice was very cold and unfriendly but the boy listened to her.

"No. I don't. I'm sorry aunt." he said, trying to hold back his remaining tears from falling. But the woman seemed even more upset.

"I thought that you could live in Seijis room, but now when you are such unkind and ungrateful child, your room will be at the basement. I don't know how your parents managed to live with a brat like you. Now, follow me. And in the future you should call me Namie-sama." the woman said, her voice now even colder and she took the boy by his sleeve. The last facial expression Shiki saw of him was a sad one, really not wanting to follow that woman.

When all of them were gone, Shiki went nearer that grave. The names were covered by a bunch of flowers. Carefully, not wanting to ruin that construction, he looked at the brick with the names on it.

It read:

"Here lies Isaac and Miria Dian. Both died from a lighting that struck them while they were searching for a hidden treasure in the sea. They died as they lived. Crazy." Shiki smiled at the description. So these must be the parents of that little boy, though none of them had raven black hair.

Shiki then went back to Shizuo's grave, but after a while it was raining, so he headed home.

The next day, Shiki noticed that the raven haired boy was sitting by his parents grave. And he talked to the stone as if his parents were there. Shiki didn't want to overhear anything, but Shizuo's grave was not far away, and the boy was talking pretty loud.

"A-and then, aunt said that I can't have any dinner. So I went to my 'room'. But it was cold there. I stayed there until everyone was asleep, and in the morning I came here to see you. I really love, both of you. Even though Miria-san isn't my true mother, you are wa-ay better than aunt Namie." the boy said, and looked at the brick which he uncovered from the flowers. /i

Shiki looked at him, and something in him shattered. He remembered then. The same thing happened at the childcare's home when he was little. Shiki didn't remember his true parents, ever since his memory begun there always was a dark basement an punishment for not doing something right. Suddenly the dark haired man felt a mutual bond with the boy. He couldn't quite explain it.

"But since it was so cold there, I didn't get enough sleep. Do you mind if I sleep here for a little while?" the boy asked, and lied his head and arms on the grave's board, and fell asleep in no time.

Then Shiki looked at his watch and noticed that it was three o clock. If the boy sneaked out of home in the morning, then his caretakers would worry by now, no matter if they hated him or not. Shiki wanted to take the boy home, but he didn't know where he lived.

He waved to Shizuo's grave and went nearer the boy. Then he noticed a red band on the boy's left hand. Carefully, in order to not wake up the boy he looked at the ribbon. There was an address on it.

It read;

"Yukata street 12. Leave the boy on the stairs if you find him." the writing was by hand, and Shiki thought that it must be that woman who wrote it.

Now, the question was how to take the boy so that he won't wake up. Shiki didn't know why he was even doing it. Normally he wouldn't care about little boys left on a graveyard, but this particular boy was another thing. He took the boy carefully, and though that it would be most safe to take him 'bridal style'. Only because he couldn't take him on his back and not waking him up. He didn't care what the people they eventually would pass by thought.

So when he took the boy, he headed to the exit of that graveyard. He looked at the clock in town and it read 15:15... Yukata street was in the center, so it didn't take long for him to get there. Once on that street, he slowed down, looking for the house number twelve.

The raven haired boy opened his eyes for a while. In the past ten minutes, he felt warm and as if he was moving. At first, he thought that it was a dream, but when the wind blow in his hair he was awake. More, he heard a heart beating near his ear. Confused, he opened his eyes for a little while and noticed an unfamiliar face of an old man with dark hair. He was looking for something, very stressed. Not wanting to upset him, the boy closed his eyes.

Any normal child would scream right away. Or be scared, waking up in some strangers arms. But that raven haired boy felt unusually secure in those arms. They provided such familiar warmth like a father was taking his sleeping son from the sofa to his bed. And that boy liked that feeling.

Suddenly he heard a 'Oh, it's there... number 12...'. It was probably that mans voice. It was stressed, but pretty deep and not upset. The raven haired boy liked that voice.

After that he felt these warm arms let go of him, and he was laid carefully on the stairs. Then he heard that mans steps hit the pavement and growing silent.

After five minutes, he heard the door open. He opened his eyes and saw his aunt, her facial expression worried and annoyed. She was looking around.

"I swear, if I find that boy... I'll..." but she stopped when she saw the scared boy lying on the stairs.

"Hibiya... have you checked the stairs? He had been there all along. Don't you scare me like that again okay?" she said to the indoor room and closed the doors before the raven haired boy reached the entrance.

(A/N: Hi! There goes chapter 9! And to think that I wanted this to be a one-shot... xD Well sorry for not updating yesterday. (I sat and wrote the 2nd chapter of After xD) Here you have some back story on Roppi. I hope you enjoy. Sorry for blending in the Baccano characters here, I just couldn't think of any other pair. (I wanted at first Shinra and Celty but considering that Shinra lives in the future it would be weird. xD) I hope you enjoyed reading it ^^ Feedback is loved and keeps me alive ;D)


	10. Chapter 10 Roppi's case 2

**Durarara isn't mine! It might be ideologically sensitive or something like that. But enjoy anyway? xD**

The next day, Shiki noticed that the boy weren't at the cemetary. Most probably his caretaker grounded him, and he couldn't leave the basement. Or it was only Shiki who was so crazy to visit the graveyard every day.

He sat like always staring at the sky by Shizuo's grave, sometimes looking at the Dian's gravestone if the boy wouldn't come. After ten gazes to that side, he scolded himself. Why was he waiting for that boy to come? It wasn't like he told him to come here... right?

Noticing that the rainy clouds are gathering he went home. But he couldn't do anything conscrutive. His thought were possessed by the little raven haired boy. Shiki didn't know why and it irritated him.

Turning on his computer, he decided to Google on the name 'Dian' and see what he would get.

After half an hour of searching he got pretty much information. That couple were treasure hunters and were all over the world. Nobody knew what they did with the things they found. Though there was not any information of them having a son. That confused Shiki.

Looking at his watch he noticed that it was half past one in the night. Hoping that the weather would be better tomorrow he went to sleep.

But nor next day, or day after that or weeks after that did he see the raven haired boy. The family of the Dian's came to theirs grave to clean it up and change decorations. They never mentioned the boy, even if that Namie woman came by. Shiki thought that it was weird, but he didn't say anything to them. No matter how much he wanted to see the little raven haired boy, he couldn't ask them where he was. It would be creepy and weird.

One year and two months after the funeral of Isaac and Miria Dian, Shiki came to the graveyard. Now he did it once a week since he decided to move on. And the money from Shizuo's bank account were ending. The white suited man now worked as a normal office worker in a woman's magazine as the editor of the texts.

That day was a sunny one. And hot. Stepping between the graves, and making his way to Heiwajima Shizuo's Shiki noticed that somebody was sitting there already. Confused, he slowed his steps in order to not scare away that human. But he would have a great hearing ability because he turned his head to Shiki.

The Grey eyed man saw a boy's face with crimision eyes looking at him with curiosity and... thankfulness? Shiki couldn't quite explain it.

"Hello. I hope it's okay that I sit here? That grave is full of candles and flowers, I didn't manage to stand there the whole time." the raven haired boy asked, not a hint of fear in his voice. It was firm in fact, not sad.

"Sure. Eh... but... why are you here? And what's your name anyway?" Shiki asked, confused. The boy seemed to be so... different from that one from one year ago. He seemed... matured though Shiki wouldn't give him more than nine years.

"Hachimenroppi. But I'd prefer if you call me Roppi. Why aren't you coming here so often anymore?" the boy named Roppi asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice and facial expression.

"I asked first. And I have work to be in, everyday so my time is limited on doing what I want." Shiki said lighting a candle that he bought with him. Then, he seated beside the raven haired boy.

"Ah. I see. This must have been an important person to you if you are here when you can. What is your name sir?" Roppi asked, trying to be nice, and looked at Shiki. The man didn't change at all since last year.

"Shiki. Yeah. Shizuo was... my whole world." Shiki admitted and turned away his gaze from Roppi.

"Hm. I understand. It's almost like Isaac and Miria-san to me. They weren't really my parents, but they were kind to me. Now, aunt wants to give me back to the childcare's home, because I failed. You see, I was at an internat school the past year. But I failed school there, and my aunt despises me anyway. Miria-san was her sister, but they were not on so good therms. And I'm a troublesome child." Roppi said, his voice apathetic. Shiki didn't know why he was listening to him, and a warm feeling inside him bubbled.

"So... you won't come here anyway?" Shiki asked with disappointment in his voice. Of course he lost hope to see the boy again, but now when he sat beside him, he didn't want to lose sight of him.

"Heh. Guess not. If somebody adopts me again, they would surely want me to cut the ties with my previous family." Roppi said turning the gaze to the Dian's grave.

Then, Shiki made a decision. It seemed crazy, but he didn't really want the boy to go back to the childcare's home. If Shiki's father would give him back after his wife died... Shiki wouldn't be here where he was now. True, maybe Shizuo would be alive but... no that wasn't the point. Nobody deserved to be abandoned one more time.

"Then go there. But you know what? I'll do anything I can to adopt you. I was in the childcare's home once too... and it wasn't a good time. I mean... if you want to be adopted." Shiki said, blushing a bit.

Though Roppi didn't seem to mind it this much. He smiled, and the smile reached his red eyes that had now a beautiful light in them.

"I'd be really glad to. In fact, I don't remember so much from the time I was there, since the Dian's adopted me when I was a baby... but I won't miss that place much. And I'll be looking forward to living with you... Shiki-san."

Shiki only smiled at that statement. And then patted the raven hair, turning it into a mess.

"Great. I can't wait already, though you aren't even there. Now, if you excuse me, I have work to do." Shiki said, as he stood up. Roppi looked at him, smiling.

"Okay. I won't sit here so much longer either. And... thank you for taking me home... one year ago." Roppi said, a little blush creeping on his face.

Shiki was confused, but didn't say anything as he waved his hand, and headed to the exit.

He wasn't surprised that Roppi was awake then.

Now, his biggest problem was... how to go the way to adopt the raven haired boy. The adoptive service wouldn't give a child to a middle aged man, without a wife.

Shiki had the unpleasant feeling that he would have to ask Akabayashi for help. He really didn't want it. Messing with the gangs would get his life in danger, but the red head seemed to have connections here and there.

Thinking about that, the white suited man headed to Shinra, asking for advice.

(A/N: Okay here comes chapter 10. It was loong, but at least Roppi appeared. I think this will be my longest story ever. I still didn't plan any ending for it so it seems to be endless for now. Em... I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Feedback is love and keeping me alive :D)


	11. Chapter 11 Roppi's case 3

**Disclaimer: Durarara isn't mine. This is an AU, so warning for OOCness. And sorry for being late with updates of this :)**

"Are you sure that you want to be with them... again?" the brown haired man, named Shinra asked the white clad and dark haired man that told him about his plans.

"No. That's why I came here. Or if you have any other idea I'd gladly listen to it." Shiki said, as he took a sip of his coffee that the doctor gave him.

"There's really not much you can do. Or if you find a woman that could be your wife. But I guess that no woman would like to adopt kids, rather have her own. But you must know Shiki, that the gang has changed since you last were there." Shinra said as he took a spoon of sugar to his tea.

"Yeah, I know. They track every little gang and makes them to join Akabayashi's. And I know that it's dangerous. But... if I mange to adopt Hachimenroppi, I'll quit it again." Shiki said with confidence in his tone.

Shinra sighed. The man was normally an optimist, but considering the happenings throughout the past three years, he was more of a realist now.

"If they let you go that is. And retiring might not be so easy this time. They track all of them who quit and beats them. Eventually kills. So if you really must then you are welcome to join them, but if you could I'd rather want you to avoid them. Hiroki even made connections with yakuza last week." Shinra said, and Shiki was stunned by what he heard.

The doctor shifted his position and left the hot tea on the coffee table. A long silence where both of the men are lost in own thoughts ensued.

Right then the door to the doctors apartment opened and his Dullahan girlfriend entered. Shinra went to greet her while Shiki stared at the black coffee in his mug. He knew that it was dangerous to get involved into Akabayashi's gang again. They also might not help him anyway and just use him.

On the other side, he promised Roppi to live with him as soon as possible. Though... what was the guarantee that the boy really wanted to live with an almost middle aged man?

Practically both of them were strangers, meeting on a graveyard one day. That Shiki took the boy home was a coincidence, a mistake even. For getting into others business, Shiki didn't suffer but Hachimenroppi was sent away from his only remaining family for a year. Only to be told that they would abandon him again because he was a problematic child.

Shiki had the urge to do something. Anything that would cause the boy less suffering and a peaceful life. Getting into shady business was the first thing he did think about... but there had to be an other way. And Shiki had to just find it.

"I'm sorry Shiki, but could you go home now? I'll have a patient with heavy injuries to treat." Shinra said with an apologetic tone and the white clad man knew what that meant.

Even though it was two years since he saw the photo of his first lovers abused body, Shiki still had a fear of seeing bruises or blood. That's why he was never around when Shinra treated a patient, always asking if it was okay to visit.

So the gray eyed man stood up, placing the almost full mug on the coffee table and going to the door in no time.

"Please, do think about what I said." Shinra said, with a distant tone.

"Yes. I will. As I said, I'm really not tempted to be into shady and illegal things again. Especially not after you told me what they are up to now. I'll consider other possibilities." Shiki said as he headed to the door, opening it.

"Tell me what you will do in the end. I might help keep you away from the gang as much as I and Celty can." the underground doctor said, and after the dark haired man nodded and lightly waved his hand after which he left their floor, Shinra closed it.

Going in the now dark city of Tokyo, Shiki looked around him, not often having the time or mood for it. The moon was shining brightly very unlike that dark night when he first talked to Shizuo.

No wait... why did he bring up the blonde now? It wasn't like he wanted the relationship with Hachimenroppi to be sexual. He wanted to live with the boy so that he could provide a good living and... not make the red eyed boy suffer. To protect him. Yes that was it. So why... was this feeling so familiar?

"Oi. You in white suit. How dare you show up here again?" a cold and a bit indifferent voice of a woman snapped out Shiki of his thoughts.

Not caring to turn around, Shiki went further into the district. He didn't recognize the voice. That person behind him surely did mistake him for somebody else.

"You... are Shiki right? The former member of Shooter gang, who left it because of Heiwajima Shizuo. Some says that you caused his death too. But I don't believe it. Care to explain, why do you wander in the night in Ikebukuro when you live in Shibuya?" the voice was now upset, suspecting something that Shiki had not the slightest idea about.

But that person, now following him with loud steps caused by high heels knew a bit too much. Shiki wanted to turn around and see who this is, but he knew better. If he would ignore her, then all of this would be forgotten in these empty streets.

The older man felt a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to turn around and look at the owner.

What he saw was a blonde haired woman, with a nice body, Grey eyes and indifferent facial expression.

A shiver run down Shiki's spine when he recognized that face. It was...

"Don't you remember? I'm Vorona Dvorek. The secretary of Akabayashi himself. Now, Shiki-san will you tell me why are you taking a walk so late, or shall I force it out of you with the help of this?" the girl took out a switchblade from her pocket pretty fast and placed it, close to Shiki's throat.

(A/N: Almost Three months. This is how long you have waited for this chapter, and it took me to gather my ass and write it. Prolonging as always, but I wrote down the plot for it so I won't forget it.

Also I made up Vorona's surname because she hasn't any. I'm not sure if it's russian or not, and truly idc.

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE ALERTS AND FAVORITES OF THIS. It was really unexpected, and I felt bad for neglecting this story. Would really appreciate some reviews though. So that I know what is good or not.

So I hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter and remember that Feedback is loved. :D)


	12. Chapter 12 Roppi's case 4

**Durarara isn't mine! Warning for a short chapter? Anyways, enjoy!**

_Seeing the blade almost making a cut into him, Shiki backed and held his hands up in a weird form of defense._

_Of all things to happen to him, it must have been Vorona to target him, right now? And why in this time and age did everyone have a weapon of sorts?_

"_If you want to kill me, then go ahead. I don't have anything to hide." he tried to be indifferent both with his face and tone of voice, but the russian girl saw right trough him._

_She swung the knife around looking deeply at the man's face. Behind one of his countless masks there was worry hidden in his facial muscles._

_The blonde stood like that, contemplating whether or not ask further about Heiwaijma Shizuo. She was sure that this man knew more than her. But the night was young, and she wasn't hurrying anywhere today, thus she stayed like that with an urge to know more._

"_I'd kill you if you want, but there is something that is bugging me. Why would you like to die?" curiosity and a bit of mocking was heard in her voice. After she said it she stopped playing with her switchblade and hid it in her pocket. _

_Shiki was annoyed at the woman. Now when the knife was out of his reach, and played no charm he could just go home and forget about all this. _

_However, the man in white suit saw his chance. If the woman was still one of the higher ups in the gang then maybe she would say something to them about his decision? Of course Shiki wasn't sure if he really wanted to rejoin the gang but... you never know unless you try, right?_

"_I have my own reasons. And what about you? Why are you following me on this evening, instead of browsing trough the papers in Akabayashi's office?" he didn't show any hesitation in asking such questions, as if telling Vorona to go away. Now._

_Her indifferent face showed an emotion as if Shiki stepped on a dangerous territory. Looking curiously at her, and noticing the gaze on her, Vorona lowered her gaze to the dirty pavement._

"_I'm... not the part of the gang anymore. Not after I heard the truth about what happened to Shizuo. It was because of you that he ended up dead and I'm not going to forgive you." she said it with a bit of a sad tone, and Shiki wondered since when these two were on the first name basis._

"_So? Is that why would you like to kill me?" he said it with a bit of a disappointed voice and a bit given up._

"_If it was because of you that he got killed, then yes, I will make sure that you will be dead before the morning. Or have you something else to say? If so... I'm listening." Vorona said it with a stern tone of voice, but she was pretty serious too._

"_Partially because of me. But I didn't kill him directly. It was Akabayashi and his people that did. Believe me, it was a shock to me when I found out about it." Shiki didn't look into her eyes when he said it. He didn't want her to see that tears was gathering in his eyes when he relieved his memories from two years ago._

_To his astonishment, Vorona didn't say what most people would. Like 'I'm sorry for bringing that up' or 'I see... let's not talk about it anymore'._

_Instead she asked him further about it, resulting in Shiki telling Vorona all the details and all he knew about the case._

_Somehow, they stopped by her apartment which was in a rich-looking apartment complex in west Ikebukuro._

_Probably because she felt guilty of asking him such questions, Vorona did the unpredictable._

"_Ah... You see... I live here. Want to come in for a cup of tea?" trying to be polite, but kind of failing because of her voice was void of any emotions that would imply kindness, Vorona asked Shiki without even looking at him._

_It was then, Shiki saw his chance. Maybe... going back to the gang won't be necessary? After all... if that woman was willing to help him... maybe Roppi wouldn't experience the orphanage for too long._

_Agreeing to the invitation, Shiki hoped for Vorona to have some empathy despite being a cold heartened bitch until now._

(Updating this because I feel the need to. Seems like I didn't do it in a while. Italics, because it is the flashback :P Thanks for all the favs and alerts! Reviews would be great too :D )


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